To many of you, the tale of @GhettoHikes is old news. That’s because you spend all of your time looking for something to get angry about on the internet. You can play the back for this entry. For the rest of you, here’s something you won’t get that often on this blog: a heart-warming story. A heart-warming story about the rise and fall of a racist sack of shit.
Remember January 6th, 2012? Five days after Gary Ablett’s death, five days before Goyte made his US Billboard 100 debut. We were a planet in flux. And @GhettoHikes was here to step into the breach with what we needed in those confused times: the anecdotes of a 28-year-old man taking, and I quote, “urban kids (of all races)” on hikes.
“Urban kids of all races”. I’m old enough to remember the “urban” section at HMV. It had Tracy Chapman and Terence Trent D’Arby in it. It didn’t have the Beastie Boys or Eminem. I’m not saying, I’m just saying. However, I’m probably reading far too much into this. Let’s have a look at some of these completely true things these completely true urban kids said on these completely true hiking trips:
Look, I know America. All white Americans are called Caitlin and Goober. So the joke here is that a white man is taking black kids out on hikes, and black people are saying stupid things because they’re black, and from hence the humour arises. Presumably he’d have gotten around to the humour part of the account if he hadn’t been cut down after 74 tweets.
“He” in question is not an inner-city teacher named “Cody” (and the fact that there are people out there who thought this account was real is enough to suggest that America should be dissolved as a nation and forced to reapply to the socio-political Division Three).
Some have suggested “he” is, in fact, Jonathan Standefer, a “social media strategist” who is best known as the man behind the “beer and boobs and boobs on beer” account @MensHumor (yes, we will get to them later). Mr. Standefer is keen to point out that he has absolutely no connection to the account, and has threatened to sue any civic-minded individuals who claim he is.
However, he does own the ghettohikes.com domain name and @MensHumor was recommending that people follow @GhettoHikes about four hours after the account was first set up. And as soon as people joined the dots between Standefer and a stream of sub-Stormfront casual Friday invective, @GhettoHikes stopped updating. Still, probably just a massive coincidence.
So while it’s depressing that in 2012 a man briefly threatened to make a lot of money off a 140-character version of the “Christopher Jackson” copypasta, we at The 100 Worst People on Twitter choose to look at the brighter side of things. By exposing the terrible people on Twitter, we can remove them from it. At least, that’s what we hope…
"I thought Lamar done snuck his puppy Jason on da trip… turns out that crazy ass just makin’ shadow puppets."
"Mallows, check. Graham’s Crackas, check. Double Chocolate, check! Chef Latrice is one crazy S’mo makin’ mothafucka!"
"Mr. Cody, pacifically what you mean when you say there wild animals up in here?"