The 100 Worst People On Twitter
A comprehensive run-down of Twitter's greatest whoppers, weapons, throbbers, shitheels, and bellpieces.
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@DanHannanMEP
#DanHannananaykroyd
Since Mensch had the decency to resign before we got round to her, Dan Hannan marks our first Tory MP on this list. That’s quite something, when you think about it. I’d imagine that when Twitter was launched, few expected many of them to be hanging around, and that’s a shame, because it could’ve been a pretty good argument to persuade them to can the whole idea before it got past the fag-packet stage.
- british twitter
- bland platitudes
- commentariat
- cunts
- failures in life
- Great Crusaders Of Our Epoch
- Idiots
- libertarianism
- louise mensch
- manchildren
- dan hannan
- tories
- no war but the class war
- opinions4u
- politics as usual
- penn jillette
- people who went to schools whose yearly fees surpass the transfer budget of most league two clubs
- people with a twitter avi that they've actually put thought into like a big lame-o
- british people who take an interest in american politics in order to make up for a deep sucking wound in their personal lives
- smug
- twitter is a middle-class playground
- White People
- white heterosexual people who are strangely immune to getting offended
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@Joey7Barton
#ThatJokeIsntFunnyAnymore
When it came to writing this, and examining Joey B’s Twitter-based discrepancies, I couldn’t help but be struck between the similarity to him and an earlier entry, Joe Budden. The continued failures, the embarrassment, the leaping into any beef without a moment’s consideration. But is Joe Budden Rap Game Joey Barton, or is Joey Barton ‘Baller Game Joe Budden?
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@MensHumor
#TheFatuousBaconBoys
We’ve already examined British lad culture once or twice on these pages, but you may be wondering: What do our American cousins have in it’s place? Well, they have something quite similar, but as you’d expect, there are a multitude of social and cultural distinctions to be made, which make it very complex to analyse. Here’s how you do it.
- Americans can be shit at Twitter as well
- accounts that are single-handedly setting the white man back 200 years
- corporate whores
- cunts
- down with the kids
- failed attempts at humour
- failures in life
- GIVE ME A BOOK DEAL
- Great Crusaders Of Our Epoch
- hammering the same joke into the ground over and over again
- insecure as fuck
- lad banter
- misogynists
- Neckbeards
- racists
- trying to be funny
- the same jokes everyone else is tweeting
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#RealityBites
I will never begrudge a z-list celebrity clinging on to what’s left of their fame. If you need to dress up in spandex on Celebrity Total Wipeout, or drag your arse all the way up to Cannock to do a live PA from Time/Liquid, then so be it. Times are hard out there. Whatever you’ve got to do to put food on the table, grab onto it. People who dismiss bottom-feeding celebrity culture forget that that is exactly what these guys are: people feeding at the bottom of celebrity culture, desperately grabbing on to the crumbs tossed away by real celebrities. So boyband fifth wheels, aging glamour models and X-Factor rejects, I say unto you: do what you gotta do to get those bills paid.
