The 100 Worst People On Twitter
A comprehensive run-down of Twitter's greatest whoppers, weapons, throbbers, shitheels, and bellpieces.
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@BrianKettle
#ThePotCallingTheWellYeahYouGetTheIdeaWithThatOne
When did you first realise that Liverpool FC were a racist club? Was it when the team had no qualms with defending a man accused and found guilty of racial abuse? Was it when the fans all rallied around the manager for it and booed the victim in the affair? Or was it when you noticed that one of the most popular Liverpool tweeters has a photo of noted Friend of Colonialism George Orwell as his avatar?
- british twitter
- cunts
- football
- failed attempts at humour
- Great Crusaders Of Our Epoch
- hammering the same joke into the ground over and over again
- Idiots
- insecure as fuck
- liverpool fans
- manchildren
- opinions4u
- people who in no way condone any racist behaviour
- people who almost certainly live in a basement
- people who still wish it was 2004
- whoring for rts
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#SuxCoburgGotha
D’you remember, around the time of the Greek and French elections, all the boasts from our media set when the silly foreigners voted in droves for fascists? It couldn’t happen here, how different to our country where we’ve rejected the BNP, the British appetite for democracy cannot be quenched no matter the circumstances. You name the position, there was an op-ed on Comment is Free about it, unless it was anything other than mindless optimism.
- Accounts almost certainly run by low-tier British freelance journalists
- british twitter
- british media class
- cunts
- failed attempts at humour
- GIVE ME A BOOK DEAL
- Gin! Gin! Gin! Gin! The sucking wound where my personality should be! Gin! Gin!
- hammering the same joke into the ground over and over again
- Idiots
- no war but the class war
- people who RT Graham Linehan
- people who probably use the term guilty pleasure to describe perfectly good tv shows and music
- queen_uk
- shamelessness
- trying to be funny
- things that make me lose faith in humanity
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@MrsStephenFry
#GetPublishedOrFryTryin
One of the most common accusations hurled in the direction of this blog is that we’re ‘looking for a book deal.’ It’s an odd one, frankly - this is after all an internet-based medium we’re discussing, heavily dependent upon links and so forth, and furthermore about 60% of the people on this list are journalists and editors. Not sure how that’s gonna exactly endear us to any publishers. We’ve criticised Guardian writers, Mirror writers, Times writers, Telegraph writers… wait, have we really not done the Sun? OK, Shaun Custis is a fucking idiot. Bridges fully burned, I thank you.
- accounts run by people who enjoy the Edinburgh Festival
- british twitter
- british media class
- failed attempts at humour
- GIVE ME A BOOK DEAL
- Gin! Gin! Gin! Gin! The sucking wound where my personality should be! Gin! Gin!
- hammering the same joke into the ground over and over again
- mrs stephen fry
- people who almost certainly live in a basement
- Some men have sex with other man and frankly I find that hilarious
- trying to be funny
- The middle Classes
- twitter is a middle-class playground
- no war but the class war
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@GOPWonka
#YouLoseGoodDay
Of all the memes that have spawned legions of parody accounts on Twitter, Wonka is by far the worst and most ubiquitous. For some reason, a load of people decided it would be funny to have Gene Wilder state “Oh, you’re drinking diet coke? My, aren’t you the embodiment of a healthy lifestyle.” And so on. The thing is, that these jokes tend to quickly wear thin. There ain’t the permutations to keep it going. So you have to evolve. Conservative Wonka is a fascinating case study in this field.
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@MensHumor
#TheFatuousBaconBoys
We’ve already examined British lad culture once or twice on these pages, but you may be wondering: What do our American cousins have in it’s place? Well, they have something quite similar, but as you’d expect, there are a multitude of social and cultural distinctions to be made, which make it very complex to analyse. Here’s how you do it.
- Americans can be shit at Twitter as well
- accounts that are single-handedly setting the white man back 200 years
- corporate whores
- cunts
- down with the kids
- failed attempts at humour
- failures in life
- GIVE ME A BOOK DEAL
- Great Crusaders Of Our Epoch
- hammering the same joke into the ground over and over again
- insecure as fuck
- lad banter
- misogynists
- Neckbeards
- racists
- trying to be funny
- the same jokes everyone else is tweeting
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#ArchaicCraic
To make it crystal clear for anyone unaware, the English are the white people of intra-UK relations. Taking it further, southern English. Middle-class English. And if we focus it down as far as we can, it’s people who like this sort of shit. Only in England could a critic be mythologised.
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#IfIWereARickman
On Monday we had Snapes. Today we have Snape. Turbo B must be bricking it in anticipation of Friday.
