The 100 Worst People On Twitter
A comprehensive run-down of Twitter's greatest whoppers, weapons, throbbers, shitheels, and bellpieces.
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@gilescoren
#BirdsEyeView
You thought you could get away from us that easily, huh?
- attention whores
- accounts that are single-handedly setting the white man back 200 years
- british twitter
- cunts
- failed attempts at humour
- Great Crusaders Of Our Epoch
- insecure as fuck
- no war but the class war
- misogynists
- opinions4u
- people who went to schools whose yearly fees surpass the transfer budget of most league two clubs
- people with racist dads
- smug
- troll bait
- twitter is a middle-class playground
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#PoopGoesTheWeasel
One of the side effects of Twiter’s media presence is that it has shown what a con liveblogging is. Telling people what is happening on a TV screen they’re already watching, commenting on how some of the people on that screen may resemble other celebrities and copypasting links to gifs and Photoshops other people have made: surprisingly enough, you don’t need an NCTJ qualification to do any of this, despite what they think down in Farringdon. People will do it for free. Which is apt, as that’s the exact worth of @KatieWeasel’s contributions to public discourse thus far.
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#VaginaHauntology
We may as well get some use out of that “posts that obliquely reference the writers’ sex lives” tag. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I’ve slept with a lot of girls who’ve slept with stand-up comedians. I appreciate that every schlubby guy in the UK is getting Richard Herring’s sloppy seconds, but there was a point in my life where I had a moment of clarity and thought “wow, I’m sexually related to 50% of Pappy’s Fun Club. I should probably do the next 30 years gay.”
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#GarbosjTalks
Many of the people on this list have been criticised for only having one joke. Ian McGarry doesn’t ‘only have one joke.’ He only is one joke. Unfortunately for him, it’s a joke that keeps on giving.
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#IAintFromAfricaImFromFrenshamMafia
Of all the criticism that’s been levelled at this blog since it began, the strangest was also the most accurate - yes, somebody accused us of having “prejudice towards the middle-classes.” I say accurate, but as with our entrants, T100WPOT is a broad church, and our opinions on those with gin, tea, or “RTs not necessarily endorsements” in their Twitter bios range right across the wide and righteous spectrum from gas chamber to struggle session. Despite all that, you’re right - we have been hitting too hard on that same note. So here’s our entry on Rufus Hound, of the £8,270-a-term Frensham Heights, or to give him his birth name, Robert James Blair Simpson.
- Great Crusaders Of Our Epoch
- Idiots
- Neckbeards
- british twitter
- corporate whores
- failed attempts at humour
- no war but the class war
- opinions4u
- people who RT Graham Linehan
- people who are technically famous for something other than twitter
- politics as usual
- rufus hound
- shamelessness
- troll bait
- twitter is a middle-class playground
- people who went to schools whose yearly fees surpass the transfer budget of most league two clubs
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#BananasAreProofThatGodExistsDotWMV
Before the internet, one of the big arguments used to attack atheism was that old G.K. Chesterton line, “Once people stop believing in God, they don’t believe nothing - they believe everything.” If Keith was around today, he’d probably have come up with something like “Once people stop believing in God, they choose to define themselves through that dullest part of their personality, grow a stupid beard and sit around all day making the same fish-in-a-barrel arguments while financing cunts like Richard Dawkins who make a living out of releasing books and going on TV to tell people the earth is round.”
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#Piss
Not enough is written about the whole Israel-Palestine situation, and people are reluctant to share their views on it generally, especially if they’re not too well-informed. Despite that, we won’t go into Luke Akehurst’s day-job as a ‘RT IF YOU SUPPORT THE NATION STATE OF ISRAEL’ bot, because latterly he’s more famous for this.
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#PaulWaywardMoreLike
Paul Hayward has some very strong views when it comes to abuse on the internet - so much so that it was a surprise to see him not show up in this, without a shadow of a doubt the most brainless and short-sighted documentary piece ever shown on British television. What Paul Hayward fails to realise is that he is, in every measure, a troll’s dream. A perfect storm of abuse-bait. He’s arrogant. He’s pompous. He’s highly-paid. Nobody thinks much of his output. He backs mediocre views up as Challenging Opinions and above all, he responds to everybody who tweets him.
